that made me think of a melaleuca party I attended at my niece’s home. Once they ran through a few products, the phones came out of the woodwork and there were 3 gals cruising through the living room and dining room announcing that they had 3 open phone line with which to call in to get people signed up. I sat there thinking, what the heck is going on here.
I’m not asking for a real name, but it’d be nice to call you something other than bonneoumauvais.
More importantly: You hit the nail on the head. Your sister drank the cool aid. She is, at this point, literally brainwashed. Would your sister normally behave at all the way she has under Arbonne? I don’t know. You’ll have to answer that one, but I doubt she would.
We can offer support, but we can’t fix this and neither can you. She is being told that her whole life should be Arbonne and if she has a spare few bucks, she should invest it. If she has a spare few minutes, she should invest it. If you’ve seen Star Trek, she has become a borg drone.
This is exactly what the Abronne people want: They want her to listen to her over anyone else, they want her to consider them the source of all knowledge and wisdom and they want to control her thinking, which she has. The reaction she showed to the words “pyramid scheme” are typical: she is in denial. At some level she knows what it is and you dared to tell her the truth. That’s not what she wants to hear, so when you said that she had to react to avoid facing the truth.
I wish I had good news, but basically at this point all you can do is be there for her and nod and say yes at the right times and politely stay back from her. She really believes this is the best thing on this Earth and will believe whatever they tell her to believe.
If/when she comes out of this, she’ll feel like dirt because she’ll realize that when you needed her, she wasn’t there but you’ve been there for her all along. At that point, you can use that to help her understand what the issue is with a group like Arbonne and it may take hold.
Until then, she is brainwashed and the first thing you can do is make sure she doesn’t suck in your family or friends and cost them money.
As painful as it is, you can’t stop her from going broke or into debt or from messing up her own life. It’s like she’s an alcoholic: you can’t do a thing to effectively stop her until she hits bottom and realizes how much trouble she’s in.
Make sure nobody lends or gives her money. She needs to run out of money as quickly as possible. If your parents, for example, keep lending her money, then they’re letting her continue. If, on the other hand, it comes down to she’s spent all the money and her husband’s paycheck isn’t due for another week and they’re there to turn off cable or power and nobody helps out, then she’ll first say everyone is not supporting her, and second, she’ll have to start dealing with reality.
For some this happens when the first bill is paid late, for others it happens when a service is cut off. For others, it happens when they’re alone and in the gutter.
That sounds tough, but if people keep enabling her so she can keep spending money then she won’t see what kind of damage this is doing to her and her family. She will need to fall and see how bad things are on her own.
It’s not easy to deal with, but we’re here to listen and help!
I have been reading this blog for a bit and whilst all your comments make me smile or even laugh, this is the first one that has prompted me to reply. Thanks for the wisdom, I shall try to print them and stick them to my refrigerator
As an “authority on family” (I’m 55 and have 7 adult kids and 7grandkids) – I want to assure all of you that family will NOT wait. Your “time” to influence your kids/set a parenting example/be involvedin their lives/teach them to love and show compassion for othershappens in the blink of an eye.Even in a “perfect” family where the father works 8-to-5, and themother may or may not work…there’s still scant time to spend withyour kids. For every night a parent is prospecting; for every weekendthe parents spend at a “function”….there’s one less opportunity foryour kids to learn something. If they haven’t learned important lifeskills by the time they’re 18 or so….they will be at a disadvantagewhen they leave the nest – and what loving parent wants to do that totheir child????